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I'm everyone – hang your label on me

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Oh the humanity

So if you follow me on Facebook, you know I’ve been really sick. Long story short I had a kidney infection and may have had it for well over a month. I finally went to a different Urgent Care at the Enloe building out off of 32. What a difference in choices of urgent care makes! I actually was treated like a person and given medicine that has helped me a lot and so after three days off of work and doing absolutely nothing but going to the drug store again on Saturday, I decided to try to go with Ben to Costco today because we’d run out of all of our Costco products that we like to buy there and were kind of tired of buying what we call “stop gap,” supplies (over priced toilet paper at the grocery store, trash bags every week instead of like once every 2 months, etc) and he needed gas, so we got in the car and went on out there around 11:30 or so. I mean it’s football Sunday. Most ‘Mericans are hanging out in front of their televisions or maybe still at church. Sunday is usually the best day to go, if you go early enough.

Unless of course it’s the WEEKEND BEFORE THANKSGIVING. Guh, I’m such a pillowcase. I totally forgot Thanksgiving was even coming, much less that it was NEXT WEEK. With being sick and everything the days just sort of melted together and I kept wondering why my friends were posting their Vegan recipes online all over Pintrest or whatever.

The parking lot didn’t look bad. Even the electronics department was semi manageble.

Then we waded into the area where the Christmas decorations are now located and of course where there are the endless feed troughs of samples and it was just… well carnage.


We’re talking people pushing and shoving just to get to taste some cheese, baskets clanging into each other, babies just SCREAMING at the top of their lungs (hey babies, I get it, I felt like doing that too), oblivious people just standing, like totally JUST STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE. Like staring into space. I wanted to hold up mirrors under their noses to make sure they weren’t the undead or something. I got to see a guy in a cowboy hat and a Dale Earnhart shirt cussing his kid, always a good time. To add to the ridiculousness Costco was sampling a full Thanksgiving dinner today. You got a little plate and they loaded it up with tiny bites of a Thanksgiving dinner. You can imagine what kind of bottle neck that built up.  It was just so loud and ridiculous I wanted out. Plus the fact I’m still feeling the after effects of being sick, so I was in no mood for this. We got my Amy’s Frozen Burritos and the rest of the essentials and bounced. Costco we may not see you until after Christmas, dude. It’s not you, it’s not me, it’s everyone else.




Anyone who knows me knows that for the most part I’d rather stick a red hot poker in my eye than go to two places on the planet. 1- The grocery store and 2- Walmart.

I have my reasons. I don’t like people wandering aimlessly. I don’t like screaming kids. I don’t like people at all much actually and the grocery store drives me insane with all the wandering, screaming, and paying for stuff that tends to go bad before I can use it all. Walmart is like that combined with the company’s sucky political leanings and let’s face it, the majority of Walmarts I’ve ever been in are filthy and chaotic and there is NEVER a good time to go to them.

When I moved here I was excited about there being a Target. I’m team Target all the way. Except our Target is well… kinda disappointing. It’s a lot like the older Targets in Bakersfield or even the one in Santa Maria. Just kinda janky and not that clean and not the Target I dreamed of (Oh Rosedale Target, you ruined me for everyone)

It’s pretty hot here in Chico and up until a couple of hours ago I only owned one pair of shorts. Lots of reasons, mostly I used to be as fat as a house before my tour of duty at Wild and it wasn’t often hot enough to wear shorts where I lived before. Having already checked out Target, I took a deep breath and went to the Chico Walmart.

Holy crap. This is the nicest freakin’ Walmart I’ve ever been in. Clean. Well organized. Hella stocked with loads of cute crap for my house and surprisingly free of creepy people or screaming babies. In other words, it was sort of like the Target I had imagined.

I ended up walking around for awhile checking some stuff out and buying some denim shorts from the Miley Cyrus juniors line…. No I’m not kidding

Yes I can fit into clothes from Miley Cyrus’s junior line. Hi, what’s up?

I did escape before purchasing a Justin Bieber CD. Damn you Bieber fever….