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On the day you were born

I remember wanting you here before you got here, my sister, my other half. I knew Mom was having a girl, I just knew it even though I was only eight. They were sure you were a boy and even had a name picked out for you and everything, but I knew, you were my sister.

Sometimes Mom would fall asleep and I would read to you while you were kicking it in the MomCondo. You probably don’t remember that, you were all fetal and shit at that moment but I knew you were coming out of there.

When Mom went into labor with you she and I were grocery shopping, her water broke at  Food For Less (classy, this family) and Mom, being Mom even asked me if  I could drive home. Well no, I couldn’t, I was 9 but we got home and Mom was Mom up until the minute you came into the world.

My grandma woke me up to talk to y(our) dad on the phone that night and they told me I had a little sister (duh, I knew that) and later on I helped Mom name you.

I helped Mom with your baby book because she hates her handwriting. You were “mine” from the minute you showed up, even when you threw yourself off the porch or cried like a lunatic constantly. I was there when you said something for the first time, when you stopped pooping in your own drawers, all that. It was me and you.

Because you were a mean little shit when you were a kid you and your friends used to wake up hella early on sleep over party weekend nights and climb all over me in bed and beg me to unleash the Pepsi or cookies or whatever it was that Mom said you couldn’t have and just to get you little shits to stop bothering me, I’d do it. But I also used to stage some pretty dope games of “pretend” for you and your friends and Barbies and whatever unwilling participant was around. We made a movie once with your best friend and you guys were the best (worst) actors in the world but it was super fun.

You went to college in the town I lived in. You met your now husband there and I remember the phone call, when you were still new and nervous at life, about if you should go on a date with this guy and I listened to you tell me all the nice and wonderful things he did for you and told you a million times, yes, go out with the boy, if he sucks, don’t go out with him again and I’ll have him killed.

You went out with that boy.

You married that man. You got an amazing second (or in our case third family) I cried through the whole thing because you feel more like my daughter than my sister. And it’s always felt like I’ve known your husband and his family my whole life. Like when I met the lot of them on your graduation day I felt like they were my family too.

And so today, my darling, my bowling ball head, the absolute true love of my life who isn’t a cat, is your last day in the town your fell in love with your husband in and ironically the apartment complex you used to live in. And you, my darling, my fearless, elegant, seriously insanely smart and perfect baby sister, my baby… you’re off to another state and I am sad, because I will miss you. I hate that you’ll be too far to see whenever I want. I hated that when I left this area the first time. But I know you’re in good hands (your own, although you husband does make me feel like at least there is another set of eyes on you, because if anything happens to you, someone’s getting seriously injured) and you’re moving to a wonderful place and I am no more than a text message/phone call/facebook post away and if anyone looks at you funny, you know I’ll be there in like less than 10 minutes, space, time, physics be damned. Ain’t no one gonna hurt my baby.

I love you and I am proud of you and I am proud of your husband, excuse me, my brother. I love you both and wish you the best in the Emerald City.


little sister



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Late to the party

So I made this discovery awhile back but haven’t really been blogging lately… (I know, I suck.) But damn if I’m not in love with Macklemore.

Look at all that Seattle love right there

You may have, if you are a Seahawks fan watched him raise the 12th Man flag the weekend of the Wildcard playoffs along with a few other Seattle musicians. You may know him from his completely smash hit “Thrift Shop,”

Oh yeah… he’s pretty hot too. I’m shallow, sue me.

Nothing is sexier than an open mind

Macklemore has a ton of other great songs out there and honestly just seems like a cool guy. Plus hey, Seahawks. But honestly this is a real talent if you buy the album and listen to more than just the single, you’re going to fall in love too.

In honor of the fact that Macklemore is also an Irishmen and that St Patrick’s Day is coming your way soon, let me share with you the best song/video that ever happened.

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that seahawks blog you’ve all been waiting for

I got up today and lazed around and because Mr Stephanie loves me, we decided we’d at LEAST go watch opening ceremonies and pre-game of the pro bowl.

Because Mr Stephanie watched me cry like a lunatic when the Seattle Seahawks lost and didn’t make it to the big game this year.

I cried because, I’ve been really sick. And yet every week them ol’ Seahawks made me get out of bed on Sunday or at least stay awake on the weeknights when they played. Because they gave me hope.  MOSTLY in the weeks leading up to the play offs.

I always call them MINE. It’s because I chose them. The Seahawks. I chose them. I was just sitting around about the time my dad first moved there, being all 6 years old and junk. I picked the Seahawks because my dad went to a lot of games. I, even though I was very small at the time, had a ton of cool Hawks gear.

It was nice for me, while being sick to see MY  Seattle Seahawks doing so well. Too well, we Hawks faithful will sometimes say. It gets to this time of the year and we will sometimes joke around, between ourselves joke that if we had been playing ourselves we would have lost.

But this year, this very special year, when I needed them most, was different.

You’ll notice if you watched the Pro-Bowl tonight that almost every play of the game tonight there was a Seattle Seahawk on the field. I know the Pro-Bowl is sort of a joke. And I know that it’s SORT OF fan motivated but did anyone see my quarterback Russell Wilson tonight? Did you see him just dominate in the bit where he played? Did you hear him when he was mic’d up? What a leader! What an inspiration he can be. I heard from a hawk of a hawk that they had to drag him off the practice field for the Pro Bowl.

The Pro Bowl. This game no one ever cares about.

We b3lieved right through that. Wilson showed the whole world what a FORCE we can be.

These Seattle Seahawks are gonna be the real deal next year. And funny thing that really makes them different than some of the other big teams is that the humility is there. They UNDERSTAND that their fans are the best there are. They UNDERSTAND that heart is the most important thing. They understand that being classy important… that giving to the community, the fans, the people who love them, is important. My “good buddy,” as I like to call the man on my radio show, Russell Wilson, was an example of all of those virtues tonight in front of the whole country. I can’t invent a drinking game for the Pro-Bowl  because everyone taking a drink every time they said Russell Wilson would’ve killed most of America.

Them Seattle Seahawks are going to be a force to be reckoned with next year. I could give a flying bag of dicks about all them Packers fans or all the 49er’s fans that give me shit (and even today when we’re out of it… you like SF so much, go back there, leave me alone all I’m doing is getting a salad broseph) every damn time I go to a sports bar to watch a game. There’s no reason for anyone to apologize to us 12thPeople this year. We had a lovely year.

Next year… damn dude, I may be apologizing to you. I’m just sayin…..

I B3Lieve.

green 12

(I should add I also Sherman Believe, and Lynch Believe and yeah… you get it! I love you guys!!!)

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Let’s Talk about MY Seattle Seahawks!

What in the world is happening? We’re a total happy freakshow right now.

I’m so excited. Like I’m afraid to talk about it because I’m that excited. I curse people for talking, I don’t go to the bathroom when I need to. I PERCH. My Hawks… man…

I’m dreaming a little dream in my head at the moment. Because this is gorgeous and this is wonderful and I had some asshole step to me in a sports store in Bakersfield. Clearly, he was butt hurt about something we did. When we aren’t posing as Hitler or making the Baby Jesus Cry or whatever it is we do that makes everyone hate us.

We’re going to the playoffs. We’re going on our own this year, we didn’t lose our way in, and we are going.

I say we… and I probably shouldn’t. I’m not on the team. I don’t work for them. All they in general, do is eat my money and not give anything back to me.

This year though, I’ve had a bad year because I’ve been really crazy sick. When I got really sick, the Seahawks got good. Not just good but SCARY GOOD. They want me to have something to be excited about, and damnit I want to be excited for them.

So I’m gonna be. I’m gonna scream, I’m gonna yell, I’m gonna cheer for the thing that got me through so much this year. I’m gonna believe.

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The Post You’ve All Been Waiting For

Y’all know I’m a Seahawks fan and some of you haven’t been really kind about it, but that’s okay, I love you anyway. But yeah, so that game on Monday happened and the entire nation and all those yapping  faces at ESPN felt the need to jump in and start antagonizing the 12th Man and the team and Pete Carroll and probably we kidnapped the Baby Jesus at some point. I never know exactly what it is we as the Seahawks nation do wrong other than being a new-er team and not being one of the big ol money cranking machines that some teams (and some of these teams have actively sucked for the last couple of years) that other teams are.

My Raiders Nation people always joke that they get penalized for being the Raiders. I assure you my friends in the Black Hole (and holy moley you’re a rad bunch, nothing but love for you) we get the same thing. We get penalties for having the audacity to have a football team in Seattle. I’m pretty sure there is a meeting every time the Seahawks are on regular ol’ television and re-show some of these chuckleheads where Washington State is.  I’m almost sure there is a chorus of “Wait, there’s football in South Alaska?” on those days, and then they pull the map out again and show them that Washington State is NOT Washington DC  (What up Redskins?!)  and that it is actually in the lower 48. (What up Alaska?! You have some great Hawks fans and we love you too!)
The point I and my new blogger BFF, superstar Math Teacher Brandon are trying to make to some of the world (only some, really like what 98% of them?) is that if this had been reversed and the Packers had won, the rest of the world would’ve just went,  “See those Seahawks sure suck and they deserved that horrible call,” but when it’s America’s Favorite Son we’re like killing kittens and hating Jesus or something.

At any rate I have three more points to make and then I am never talking about Week 3 again, so stop asking after you’re done reading this.

1-The Seahawks sacked Aaron Rodgers like 8 times. Not the refs. Not me either by the way. That was the actual Seahawks. The guys who make enough money to take your b.s. and abuse because you’re sooooo unhappy with the outcome of the game. The Seahawks sacked Aaron Rodgers.  They did that. Cats and dogs then went on picnics together and lived in harmony.

2-No one would give a mad mother eff if this had happened against the Rams (sorry my brothers on the Everyone Hates Us Boat, I love Josh Brown, lets be friends again on Monday) or like the Bengals or some other place that people forget have a team.  If you’re not the Patriots, the Packers, the Cowboys or the Vikings (and nothing but love for you guys either, noble friends in the Northeast), you really can’t win in the forum of public opinion. You don’t sell enough t-shirts so in laymen’s terms you may eff yourself. Unless you’re the Raiders, since you sell so many shirts.  But apparently you guys can still eff yourselves for being the Raiders.  Don’t worry my scary and awesome friends in the Black Hole, we have room for you in the Everyone Hates Us Boat as well. Come on down. We have cookies.

3-The NFL Ref Lock Out is now over. You are welcome.

In the interest in moving forward with the universe, two more things to share: I still want a Marshawn Lynch jersey or shirt.  Also I’m walking to save dogs and cats this weekend and if I make a thousand dollars personally, I’ll do it in my Seahawks Jersey. In Chico California where the “Welcome to Chico,” sign says “Home of Aaron Rodgers.  You can donate to this hot mess by going here:


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I like football

I know. I’m a girl. A kinda punk rock, rock and roll music nerd girl. But I like, no scratch that love football. Specifically Seahawks football.

I am so excited about this season’s Seattle Seahawks that I can’t see straight. I love the Seahawks. Even when they suck. Actually sometimes especially when they suck. Because someone has to love them and it might as well be me, you know?

My dad is a huge Seahawks fan. When he moved to Seattle I used to watch their games on TV (in the 80s I’m pretty sure they were on TV a lot more than they are now) because my dad went to a lot of games at the Kingdome and 5 year old me was pretty convinced that if my dad was at a football game in Seattle, I would be able to see him on TV. Duh, that’s my dad, of course they’re going to put him on TV.

I had some of the dopest Seahawks stuff growing up. I actually had MOST of it until I was in high school. My Land of the Boz t-shirt actually still fit me baby doll style and made it to a few punk shows. But I was probably the only 6 year old at my elementary school with a Starter Jacket. Just sayin’.

Anyway I’m wishing, wanting, waiting for the season. I’m excited. I’m in. I’m the 12th (wo)Man.

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Seahawks time!

So Pre Season football kicks off this week.  Which means it’s Seahawks time! Yay! As I do every season I have been scanning the Pro Shop at seahawks.com and trying to decide what it is that I want from the shop this year.

This looks super comfy!


I’m in love


Actually I’d wear the shit out of this hoodie. I like it because the colors are closer to vintage Hawks colors and it just looks so soft and comfortable, not to mention SUPER cute.

Beast Mode!

Look I know a lot of people were disappointed in Marshawn Lynch getting a DUI earlier this summer and I am in the capacity that it might have an affect on how many games he’s able to play etc. But I still think he’s a hell of a ball player and at least in his case he didn’t hurt anyone. I’m sure his Momma gave him a whooping too after the fact, so there you go. BEASTMODE.

I may just give up and buy this one now

I LOVE the old Hawks logo, totem poley and not neon and stuff. This shirt would be in heavy rotation if I owned it. OMG the sleeves. Omg the color. I love green!

this one is pretty good too


I had contemplated getting a youth jersey this year with the redesign of the unis, because my jersey I have now is a kids jersey and kids jerseys are about 20 dollars cheaper but I noticed something while browsing, the jerseys they’re selling this time around aren’t replicas of the player jerseys which are cut more narrow and tighter with the new Nike design, they’re the same baggy assed ones we’ve been getting pushed at us for years. The women’s jerseys are closer to the cut of the players but they’re also about100 dollars so I think I’ll be happy with a player t if I decide to go that route.

Another time we’ll talk about what I think the purpose of  T.O. joining the team is. For right now, if you’re feeling generous you can find all this gorgeous stuff I want at seahawks.com I usually buy a large since all the women’s things are actually juniors and everything shrinks like crazy.