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I'm everyone – hang your label on me


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A long time ago my dad and I were living on Ashe Road in Bakersfield and stuff was going wrong left and right. I’d been arrested for no reason, my grandma had just passed on etc. Life was just kicking me in the pants. And my friend Russ was living in Northridge at the time and called me out of the blue to go to a cd signing for the band Orgy. During this conversation Russ told me about the band Deadsy.

Deadsy. Stupid name right? And yet I was hooked instantly. Stealing their songs off Limewire (don’t worry I made up for it I’ll tell you how if you can hang through this story) Russ and I went to see Deadsy in December of 2000. It was beyond amazing. I was in love and there was no stopping it.

Being a Deadsy fan wasn’t easy. I’m pretty sure that we sat through about 3 false starts and also already owning the record via ebay before Commencement (02) came out. Being a Deadsy fan in radio meant some other stuff… teaching street team members how to properly request songs and helping the band win song of the day contests. I remember sitting on the Deadsy chat the night the band finally won 5 days in a row on the station I worked at and how happy everyone was. How happy I was, because sitting on this message board, these chats etc, I started to make friends.

Matt and Rebekah got married. Beth had a gorgeous daughter. Jennifer moved in with me. Jimmie just got engaged. Susanface is still a good friend and I used to have her to my house in SLO a lot. Miguel became a teacher. Alli had a couple of gorgeous kids. April is working on daughter number 2 but her first one is Hello Kitty cute and the light of her life. Natalie just had Atticus her very own grump bear. Jim over there in Europe married his soul mate too. Casey Fucking Bowden lives an hour from me and I see him a couple of times a year. He married his long time sweetie and is doing fine. Danielle is doing some crazy fashion shit. Brandie, who stayed at my parents in Bakersfield with me at some point is engaged and doing her life’s work. Angela, sweet Angela is expecting her 3rd baby and doing great in LA.


I went on to run street team for the entire West Coast for this band. Why? I needed something to take my mind off of things and this was it. I met people, I talked on the phone to strange little girls and boys all across the country. I sent fliers. I gave orders. I gave advice. I listened to some of them cry.  And sometimes when things got really bad they listened to me cry. I fought  with their record rep (And Carlton was right, Jennifer and I would be around a lot longer than that asshat would be. Yes I am talking to you D, do you still have my card?) I sat up till 5am once policing the message board to kill download links.

This was the band that saved my life when I went through the really horrible Q times. I always had Deadsy chores to do. Or kids to talk to.


The last Deadsy show I ever went to was November 7th 2006 at the Ventura Theatre. They were on tour with the Deftones (also classy as fuck dudes) and after the show Jennifer, my friend Paul and a couple of dudes from the Deadsy camp went over to the bar across the street. We did carbombs in plastic cups and drank Newcastle like it was a fire sale. We didn’t know it then, but we were having a Vikings funeral for about 7 years of my life. I’d never see them play as Deadsy again. The random seeing Carlton with Berlin thing would happen or I’d get an IM or whatever but that was it. The end.

I’m still friends with almost everyone I met from this band. This was better than high school for me. This band that left the Trapt tour and flew 3000 miles to play my radio stations festival. This band who told their record company to fuck off for me. This band that introduced me to some of my best friends… I wouldn’t have half of the friends I do now without them. I love these guys, no matter what.

nowheregrrl was living in a dream


No cameras in the vip area


duck face


I know nothing


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