Just one? I mean I have a million.
But I’m choosing this one because it reminds me of a friend. And I was talking about Chris last night so I will share this song with you.
I had the raddest first boyfriend ever. True facts, there is no way around it. Christopher Page was a perfect first boyfriend. And he was there for me through so much shit later in life when we broke up. We got each other pretty well and I never knew why he was always so good at everything. We competed sure, but he was just better at certain things than me. Eventually I ended up in radio and he kept writing, which he was always better at than I was. He ended up moving to Arizona about the same time I moved to San Luis Obispo. I remember the Christmas that he basically funded my bar tab when Jennifer and I had first moved in together.
A lot of people don’t know that, that Christmas Eve when I saw him last we walked outside and he asked me if he could kiss me. And I did. Because of course he could. Even 10 years after we broke up. Of course. We were friends.
I didn’t know that it was going to be the last time I ever saw him. I didn’t know that a few years later, he’d stop being on this planet.
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who remembers and I know that’s selfish of me. I know I am not but sometimes, even still I see something or eat somewhere or find something in my stuff and I remember him. And miss him. And sometimes I still forget that I can’t just pick up my phone and call him and be like “Hey, so I just saw Screeching Weasel tonight and my god Ben Weasel is an asshole” Or “Oh my god when did Geoff get married?” or well… anything.
It’s getting close to that time of year again, the anniversary of my friend deciding to end his life. I thought of him last night because we were at a pizza place where you could draw on the tables with chalk. And I found myself doodling and thinking about how Chris used to draw me pictures when we were in high school. And there I was having vegetarian pizza, drawing with chalk and listening to oldies and just missed him so much.
So yeah, Kathleen Hanna and Bikini Kill made this song when I was much younger. And you ended up with a bigger story than I meant to write. Whatever.