I haven’t had a girls night out in a long time. To be real, I don’t know a lot of girls in Chico. A couple of weeks ago I took Adele out for pedicures before the baby came but that’s been the extent of girls night out. I used to have these pretty frequently either with Kristin or Darcy or Teresa back home. Sometimes it’d be me and Michaela and Suzanne going dancing at the Grad or whatever. But I don’t have a lot of female friends here and I don’t know if it’s because girls are different in Chico or maybe I just don’t work with any women.
Right before the baby came I started doing happy hours with Jeremy. He’s not a girl or anything but he’s my closest friend in Chico who is not Ben so it was always fun to go grab a beer with him across the street from the station after work and gab about the station and our respective lives. Not exactly someone I can talk bloatedness and mood swings with (although I’m sure he’d understand) but a friend. So that’s nice.
I imagine part of this too is that I’m in a still pretty new relationship, although it doesn’t feel new. So Ben and I spend a lot of time together as well. And Ben is great because I can honestly tell him anything and it’s like “Hmm okay well how can I help you fix this? Or is this one of those need a hug and a treat problems?” (No really he kind of talks like this sometimes)
The biggest part of course though is that it’s just not hanging out with girls that I miss, it’s that I miss MY particular friends. Teresa was my life raft the last year of my time in SLO. I never could’ve made it through the millions of things that went wrong without her. Especially this move. Especially that other thing. None of it. And Kristin was my rock. Always there with a glass of wine and a good book to take my mind off of things and always willing to listen or just help me avoid things completely. And then there was Darcy who was my vault and I was her vault while we were both going through the same thing relitively speaking. Always there with a couch and a smile and a hug and a “oh fuck that,” whenever I needed it. My girls, I miss them so much.
I passed my six months in Chico mark sometime last month. It was quiet. I don’t think I mentioned it to anyone but Ben. Maybe one of the bar tenders at the End Zone. It still feels kind of forigen to me here. I can find my way around but there are still a million places that when people talk about where they are I’m just like “nope, don’t know.”
It all takes time. Tomorrow I guess I get to find out if all my hard work and stress was worth it when our ratings come out. To say I dyed my hair about this would be an understatement…