My job has always been an issue in my relationships. I can’t remember one that it wasn’t. There is always the threat of my needing to move to another city for an opportunity or the long hours or the fact that I spend 90% of my time surrounded by men only, because there aren’t a lot of girls in my business. It’s always caused friction in my life as I am sure no one likes feeling like they come second to something else, even if they don’t actually come second, it sometimes feels like it I’m sure.
I relate to this Gaga quote because I’ve done it a million times. Been sitting there looking at that decision. That ultimatum. Me or that. Us or radio. Us or the next adventure. Be with me or go be “famous” (I don’t think I’m famous but I’ve had this load of shit thrown at my face before.) I’ve always chosen work. I’ve always chosen me. I’m selfish that way.
I’ve never regretted it though. And I honestly think it’s impossible for me to meet someone who understands 100% how my business works. Because if I meet someone like that, they probably work in the same business and they’re just as driven as I am. Just as ambitious. Just as focused. Just as much of a geek. I know there are more of “me” out there, I’ve worked with them. I’ve admired them. But I also know that given the choice: a relationship or work, they’d chose work, just like me. Work is always there, there is always something to be done, you can always go drown yourself in it when you’re lonely.
To be fair, nothing is wrong now. I’m not terribly lonely or having issues really, just saw this today and it really struck me. Kinda weird to know one of the most famous women in the world has the same world view as me….